


Shadows of the Past: Abrogation

by Ithiel_Dragon



Series: Shadows of the Past [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Eugenics Wars, Explicit Sexual Content, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Romance, Time Travel, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-02 06:43:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4050154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithiel_Dragon/pseuds/Ithiel_Dragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tensions rise between Khan and his allies as a new enemy emerges.  Jim tries not to get involved in the growing conflict, but circumstance may force him to choose a side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NurseDarry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NurseDarry/gifts).



> Betaed by the lovely [NurseDarry](http://archiveofourown.org/users/NurseDarry/pseuds/NurseDarry).

Elina stood on the small hill overlooking the rice fields below. Somewhere in the fields were her father and two older brothers. Her mother was back at the village, giving birth to what she'd been told would probably be another boy. A joyous occasion indeed, and not only because it meant Elina would no longer be the youngest any longer

Her mother had started having pains a little over two hours ago while hanging the washing. At first, Elina had been frightened when her mother had suddenly doubled over holding her swollen belly. But her mother reassured her that there was nothing to worry about, and told her to fetch the doctor while Mrs. Kamala helped her mother into the house.

Elina had done as she was told. She ran as fast as she could to the doctor's home and told him what was happening. He agreed to come quickly, and Elina had raced home. More of their neighbors had gathered inside their small home, helping her mother. The baby was coming quickly! Excited, Elina had decided to go to the fields to find her father and brothers. Surely they would want to hear the good news!

It had taken a while, but Elina knew the way to the fields well. She hoped the baby would not come before they could get back. When she finally spotted her oldest brother she ran down the hill and excitedly told him the news. He smiled and announced loudly to the nearby farmers what was happening. Congratulations spread and it was not long before her father and other brother found them.

They all agreed to go home quickly to welcome the new baby. Elina squealed in delight when her father hoisted her up to carry her on his shoulders as they made their way back to the village. From her vantage point she was the first to see the smoke. It wasn't long before they could smell it. Then they heard the gunfire, the screams. Her father put her down and ordered her to stay where she was with her brother while her father and oldest brother ran in the direction of the village.

She and her brother stayed there, cowering beside the road for a long time. Hours. The sun began to set. Her father and brother still had not returned. Nor had they seen any more workers from the fields come by. When it began to grow dark they finally agreed to go to the village despite their father's warning, they were hungry and could not stay out there all night.

Her legs shaking with fear, Elina clutched at her brother's hand tightly as they made their way towards the village. They stayed off the road. Stayed out of sight as much as they could. The smell of smoke was worse the closer they got to the village. Even in the growing gloom they could still see the it rising from the burned out remains of homes. Underneath the smell of smoke was another smell. The smell of blood. Death. They found their father and older brother not far outside the village. Both had been shot multiple times. In the village, everyone was dead. Their neighbors. Their mother and the new baby brother. Everyone...

On the wall of their home was one word. Painted in blood.

 _Inferior_.

* * *

 

The air was warm and humid despite the fact that the day had cooled significantly once night had fallen. Jim stood in front of the open window overlooking the gardens below. The flowers' bright and vibrant shades of color were bleached white in the moonlight, their sweet scents heavy in the damp air. The wind blew, ruffling his short hair slightly but offering no real respite from the heat. Sweat beaded on his flushed skin despite the fact that he wore no shirt. The light sleeping pants clung to his legs due to the humidity and from his near constant tossing and turning in the night. He'd slept fitfully when he slept at all, and had finally given up rest as a lost cause nearly an hour ago. Tired though he was, he didn't really mind the insomnia; this was better than the dreams that awaited him when he closed his eyes. At least when he was awake he could pretend to ignore the painful memories that hounded him.

It had been nearly a month since the attempt on Khan's life and Jim's abduction from the palace dungeons. He should probably be glad that he wasn't in those dungeons now. Khan had absolved him from suspicion in his assassination attempt once it was learned that both his abduction and the assassination attempt had been orchestrated by one of the emperor's closest advisors, Colonel Abhay. He'd also probably been working with the human rebels against Khan for years.

That didn't mean that Jim was free. He was still a prisoner, even though the luxurious rooms were much better than the dungeon, or worse: the cold sterile hospital room he'd been confined to for the first few days after his rescue. A precaution, not only for his recovery, but also in which to study him.

Those days were the most difficult. The poking and prodding, far too reminiscent of the degradation he'd suffered at the hands of that so-called doctor. Even though Khan's people had been far kinder and gentler, it had not been pleasant. They'd kept him _tied down!_ Confined to the bed. Apparently not only for his own protection, but that of anyone who interacted with him until the level of danger he presented could be assessed.

Jim should be grateful... Instead he felt only resentment. The feeling had not passed even when Jim had eventually been allowed to return to his previous lodgings. Nearly every day the doctors and scientists still came to perform their various tests. Yet even after nearly a month, they were still unsure exactly what that insane doctor had done to Jim. All they knew for sure was that whatever had been done to him had changed him on a genetic level. They'd only scratched the surface of the possible side effects. They were also certain there was no going back. He didn't like to think about it, but unfortunately there wasn't much else to occupy his mind these days. Especially at night.

Right now he'd give almost anything for a distraction.

As though on cue, there was a sharp knock on the door of his quarters. Jim startled a little but he didn't turn around when the door swung open. He didn't need to wonder who it might be; there were scant few people who'd come to his rooms at this hour and even fewer who'd have the means to know he was awake. And only one who was arrogant enough to let himself in without waiting for Jim to respond.

Jim hadn't seen much of Khan in the last month. He'd seen far more of Kabir, nearly every day the young man would show up to keep him up to date either on the progress, or lack thereof, searching for the doctor who'd done this to Jim. Sometimes Carmilla would come and have tea and talk with him, or take him for a silent stroll through the gardens. The emperor himself was apparently too busy with more important matters to visit his prisoner. The last time Jim had caught more than a glimpse of the emperor from a distance was...

He licked his lips as though he could still taste the ghost of the kiss Khan had given him that night. It had been one of the most chaste kisses Jim had ever partaken in, but he still remembered how hard and fast his heart had raced during the brief contact. Much like his heart was beating now, to his displeasure, pounding so loud he wondered if Khan could hear it.

"What do you want?" Jim asked without turning. His tone held more than a little bitterness, though Jim wasn't sure if he was more upset by Khan's long absence or the fact that he'd shown up now after all this time. He certainly wouldn't call Khan a friend, or even an ally, but Jim had never liked being ignored. Each day that the emperor stayed away made Jim's bitterness towards the man grow. After everything that had passed between them: the bond that neither wanted, Jim saving Khan's life for reasons he still couldn't define, Khan saving him in return, the unexpected kiss, most unexpected being Jim's reaction to it. Then nothing. He never would have described Khan as a coward, in any sense, but...

The silence stretched so long Jim began to fear he'd misjudged his visitor, that maybe it wasn't Khan after all, but someone else. Maybe even a threat. But no. He could feel that...tug. What Jim had come to recognize as the 'bond' between them. Khan had said it would fade over time, but even though there had been no more shared dreams between them, he could still _feel_ the man.

Just when had he stopped thinking of Khan as a threat?

A loud 'popping' sound made Jim jump and turn in spite of himself. It was indeed Khan. Jim hadn't heard him move, apparently he could be as silent as a cat when he wanted to, and was now seated on one of the couches in Jim's sitting room. The sound he'd heard was the cork from the wine bottle Khan had opened and was now pouring into two glasses.

"Come have a drink with me." Khan's tone was as casual as it ever seemed to get, but it was still definitely an order and it made Jim bristle with anger.

"Just like that? That's all you have to say?"

Khan picked up one of the wine glasses and reclined back into the cushions of the couch, his arm draped comfortably over the back. He didn't answer, just looked at Jim expectantly. Jim growled softly under his breath and stalked over to the small table where his glass sat. He picked it up and took a long drink of the wine, because he could definitely use the alcohol right now. But he didn't sit. Mostly because Khan clearly expected it and the small defiance, if only to annoy the other man, was a small payback for the sense of...abandonment...Jim had felt this last month.

When had he gone from hating to be in Khan's presence to feeling hurt and angry by its absence?

Khan took a drink from his own glass before he spoke again, "You look well."

Jim snorted. "All things considered."

Khan nodded.

"What the hell are you doing in my room in the middle of the night?" Jim demanded, exasperated.

"I wished to be here," the emperor answered simply.

"And it was too inconvenient to show up at a decent hour any time before now," Jim snapped back sarcastically.

"No. But I was...advised...to keep my distance from you," Khan admitted. Not really sure how to respond, Jim laughed, though it was a bitter sound. He wasn't terribly surprised. Kabir had made no secret that he believed Jim was dangerous. He'd believed that, and with good reason, even before Jim had been turned into some kind of...freak. So he was not surprised at all Khan had been 'advised' to stay away. He was just surprised that Khan had obeyed.

"Since when do you follow anyone's advice?"

"I do, on occasion," Khan answered as patiently as ever, refusing to rise to the baiting, his pale eyes never leaving Jim. Jim refused to squirm under that intense gaze, even though he was becoming more aware of his mostly-naked state the longer Khan scrutinized him.

"So what are you doing here then?"

"Ignoring that advice." Khan's voice dropped nearly an octave, his rich tones full of meaning that made Jim's throat instantly feel dry as a desert. He swallowed down the last of his wine in an attempt to counteract the feeling and turned away, finally breaking the staring contest between them.

Khan's hand closed around his wrist, halting him. Jim turned a glare on the man and tried to tug his arm away. He almost managed to succeed but Khan's hand tightened its grip causing Jim to wince slightly in pain.

"Sit," Khan ordered.

"Let me go," Jim demanded and Khan frowned at him.

"Sit!" the man repeated, sounding aggravated. Jim took that as a win and sat down, if only because his wine glass was now empty and he wanted another drink. Khan released him and as though reading his thoughts again, refilled his glass. Jim didn't look at him as he did so, instead he looked at his wrist which had bruised from how tightly Khan had been holding him. As he watched, the color faded before his eyes, going from purple to red, and finally to unblemished skin. He was well aware that Khan had seen it too.

"What do you want?" Jim asked again, since Khan hadn't answered him the first time.

"Is it too much to believe that I simply wished to check on your wellbeing?" Khan asked thoughtfully.

"Yes," Jim answered, earning him a small chuckle from the older man.

"Very well, there is something else that I wanted," Khan admitted. Something _else_? Meaning that Khan _was_ actually concerned about his wellbeing? Why should that be such a surprise? He had come to Jim's 'rescue' after all, on his own, still injured, and with no real backup. Khan still hadn't given him a reason why. Why come alone if he came at all? Why risk so much for Jim, who was not only suspected of being a rebel, but made no secret of his hatred for Khan?

The last time he'd asked, Khan hadn't given him an answer. That was right before Khan had kissed him...and Jim had let him.

"What do you want?" Jim all but whispered. He heard the clink of glass as Khan set his drink down on the table. He felt the shift on the cushions as Khan leaned closer to him. Jim still didn't look up when he felt the weight of Khan's hand cupping the back of his neck. He closed his eyes, his breath hitching when he felt the warmth of the man's breath against his face.

Jim could smell the wine they were sharing, and flowers. No doubt Khan had been walking through the gardens before he came here. Underneath that was a rich aroma of soap and some kind of spicy cologne that the emperor must have put on earlier in the day, though it had mostly faded by now. The strongest smell filling his senses right now was Khan's own scent, warm with musk and unmistakable arousal. It made Jim feel light-headed even before Khan's lips pressed against his own.

A small sound caught in the back of Jim's throat and he wasn't sure if it was in protest or encouragement. Khan's lips were surprisingly soft, but also firm. There was no hesitation in the touch, even though for the moment, the kiss remained gentle. Waiting. For Jim to pull away? To tell him to stop? That's probably what he should have done. Instead Jim allowed his lips to part and Khan immediately took advantage of the silent invitation.

He thought it would feel familiar. Kissing Khan. They had done this and more in the dreams that had plagued Jim for so long. At the time, it had felt so real. But now those dream-kisses felt like mere shadows compared to the intensity of the real thing. Khan's tongue was in his mouth tasting every inch of him, sharp teeth nipping at Jim's swollen and sensitive lips, coaxing increasingly loud moans from his throat.

Jim panted. His heart was racing. The heat had been near unbearable before, but now he felt practically feverish. Khan's strong fingers on his neck held him in place, not that Jim had any intention of pulling away. The man's other hand slid over the bare flesh of his stomach, making the muscles flutter and clench as it moved lower. Jim groaned in near pain as Khan cupped his straining sex through the light pants that were no real barrier. His cock throbbed and grew even harder.

He dropped the glass in his hand, not caring about the wine staining the expensive rug. Jim clutched at Khan's shoulders and the other man practically growled into the kiss. Jim thrust into the hand stroking him, feeling so close to release already it was almost embarrassing.

All of a sudden Khan broke the kiss, pulling back the hand on Jim's cock and left him straining and aching with need. Jim practically growled, one of his hands tangling in Khan's long hair trying to force their mouths back together, but the augment resisted, only a slight wince betraying any discomfort for the near-brutal way Jim was tugging. Khan did not give in, instead rising from couch entirely. He felt a moment of panic that Khan was actually going to leave, but instead the man knelt on the floor in front of Jim. His heart felt like it would break free of his ribcage it was beating so hard in his chest when the augment grasped the waistband of his pants and pulled them down.

"How does it feel?" Khan's question was a low sensual purr that Jim could barely comprehend through the lust burning through his veins, all of his blood having left his brain rushing straight to his cock.

"What?" Jim gasped, and practically whined when Khan's hand wrapped around his cock. Holding him but not stroking him.

"To have the most powerful man in the world on his knees before you?" Khan asked, a hint of amusement bleeding into his tone. Then Jim lost all capacity for thought as that mouth engulfed his cock in molten heat.

Jim cried out, throwing his head back against the edge of the couch. His hand twisted in Khan's hair even more, and he knew he was in danger of ripping out more than a few of the delicate strands, but he couldn't make himself stop. He fucked into Khan's mouth and the augment didn't even attempt to restrain him. Jim felt, more than heard Khan groan in pleasure around him, and that was all it took. Jim only managed to thrust a few more times into that sinful mouth before he was spilling his seed down Khan's throat. The man probably could not have pulled back given how tightly Jim was clutching at his head, but Khan didn't try to either, swallowing down his release and only drawing back when Jim finally unclenched his fingers in his hair.

Jim winced slightly and looked down at his hand, bloody where Khan's hair had actually cut into his flesh. He hadn't even felt it happen. The wounds began to close almost immediately and neither man moved until his hand was healed. It took seconds at most. Khan rose to his feet and Jim cleared his throat, avoiding his eyes. No doubt the augment would want Jim to reciprocate now, but now that his own arousal had been sated, Jim couldn't help feeling uncomfortable under the weight of the other man's stare. He wasn't sure if he could...

"Get some sleep." Khan's words caused Jim to look up in surprise in spite of himself. The emperor didn't give him a chance to speak, leaving Jim's room as silently as he'd entered.


	2. Chapter 2

"You did what?!"

Khan raised an eyebrow and scowled at his chief intelligence officer's unexpected outburst. Kabir had the good grace to look embarrassed and contrite over his loss of control. And while amusing, it certainly did not excuse it.

"You will mind your tone, Kabir," Khan warned. The young human bowed his head in submission.

"My apologies, sir," Kabir offered, even though he was clearly still frustrated. It made Khan's lips twitch in a small smile in spite of himself, though he made sure the expression was gone when the young officer looked at him again. "But we agreed that until Kirk's threat to you could be fully assessed..."

"Yes, we agreed. I changed my mind," Khan stated simply, earning a soft snort from Carmilla from across the room. Khan glanced over at the woman, and while his body language remained relaxed, lounging in one of the well-cushioned chairs in his study, his expression was anything but. The woman had remained oddly silent up till now, keeping her opinions to herself for a change. That alone probably should have been worrying. She offered him a sharp smile but remained silent.

"Did you have something to say?" Khan prompted, even knowing he was probably going to regret asking. But the woman merely shook her head, casually leaning against the mantle of the fireplace.

"You are the emperor. Of course it is your prerogative to do as you wish," she said far too sweetly, earning a scowl from Khan. This again? He'd already been lectured – at great length – by both Carmilla and Kabir about his 'stunt' going to retrieve Kirk alone. He had been chastised like a disobedient child for risking his life, and needlessly reminded that he was too important to the stability of not only his own lands but that of his allies as well. If he'd died in the attempt to rescue Kirk, the rebels would have gotten exactly what they'd wanted. This was nothing he didn't already know, and he had endured their lectures with a moderate amount of tolerance. They had been worried, justifiably so; the risk of war breaking out once again with his death was too great to simply ignore.

Yet Khan had ignored it all. He could admit he had been selfish. Perhaps even irrational, reacting strongly to Kirk's fear and desperation that had bled through the bond. He had been foolish, and they were right. He hadn't been thinking clearly at the time, and that was perhaps the only reason that Khan had agreed to Kabir's ridiculous precautions. He'd agreed to distance himself from Kirk, at least until the side effects of the blood bond had run its course. If he was going to deal with Kirk at all, he needed to remain unbiased and without anything clouding his judgement.

It quickly became apparent to Khan that was not going to happen. The side effects of the bond were not fading as they should. It was as though whatever had been done to Kirk had halted the deterioration of Khan's blood within the man. Kirk did not seem to be suffering withdrawal symptoms any longer, and their mental connection remained strong. It could potentially be a problem, but he had kept this particular fact to himself. It was clear that simply avoiding Kirk was going to solve nothing. He needed to determine exactly how much the bond would affect them both, but that had been only one of his reasons for visiting the young man last night.

"I do not appreciate sarcasm, Carmilla. I hardly need to explain myself, to you of all people," Khan stated harshly, though she was far from cowed by his ire, and scowled back at him just as fiercely.

Khan had been a little surprised by her reaction to the whole ordeal, to be honest. She had been remarkably understanding and even compassionate regarding the unexpected bond that had developed between the men. She had even gone so far as to encourage Khan to talk with the younger man about the true nature of the bond. Carmilla seemed to genuinely like Kirk, and gave Khan regular updates about his wellbeing. Khan had always suspected she was something of a romantic, but she was also practical. Just because she liked Kirk, didn't mean she fully trusted him. If she thought the young man was a true danger to Khan, it would be interesting to see who killed Kirk first, her or Kabir.

"And who do you answer to, Khan? Only yourself? Or to your people?" she countered, and again, he knew she was only stating the truth, whether he wanted to hear it or not. Kabir wisely remained silent through the exchange, but straightened when Khan turned his attention to him once more.

"Despite what you might believe, I did not go to his chambers on a whim or for a mere dalliance. You promised me results and failed to deliver," Khan said. Kabir's jaw clenched in anger.

"The doctors have assured me that they are close to –" Kabir insisted, but Khan interrupted him.

"All their tests and they have learned nothing. I discovered more in half an hour than they have been able to uncover in a month," Khan countered.

"Perhaps you would care to enlighten us, dear," Carmilla suggested, sounding as irritated as Kabir about the whole situation but also genuinely curious.

"Thus far the doctors have been unable to replicate the results I witnessed in the rebels base: Kirk's rapid healing of a wound that might have killed even an augment. I suspected that these 'enhancements' might be activated by extreme emotional or physical stress, and it seems I was correct." Kirk had been agitated since the moment Khan had entered the younger man's quarters. He didn't need the bond to tell him that, it was written in every line of the man's posture. The tension in his body and voice.

Yet he'd accepted Khan's offer of a drink. Kirk could just have easily told him to leave. The young man had been angry at his intrusion, but there had been more than anger in his eyes. There had been relief. The same relief that Khan had felt.

"I believe that Kirk's ability to heal even faster than an augment is only the beginning. His strength has also been enhanced. I suspect in a truly dire situation, his physical strength would be more than a match, even surpass, that of the strongest augment." Khan remembered how he'd felt the younger man's pulse jump beneath his fingertips when he'd grabbed Kirk's wrist. He had been surprised when Kirk tried to pull away, and almost succeeded. Khan had needed to use nearly all his strength just to hold onto the other man, and Kirk hadn't even seemed to realize it.

"His sensitivity to pain also appears to have decreased. The man Jacob also seemed to have that ability, and was able to continue fighting from wounds which should have been fatal.  If Kirk received the same 'enhancements' it would explain how he survived that wound that should have killed him." The shock alone of that wound should have been enough to kill the younger man. Yet he had pulled himself free and attacked Jacob before the man could kill him. Khan had watched in awe as the wound healed right before his eyes.  Kirk had saved Khan's life. Again.

His methods, while some might call them crude, had produced results.  While Khan had been on his knees sucking the younger man's cock, Kirk hadn't seemed to notice how the emperor's hair had literally cut into his flesh as he twisted it hard in his hand. The cuts had healed almost instantly afterwards, and the bruises that Kirk had left on Khan's shoulders were still visible in the morning.  If Kirk was already this strong with only a mild increase in adrenaline, how much stronger could he be?  

"If that is true, then Dr. Singh has discovered a way to make ordinary humans stronger, faster, and able to withstand far more damage than the average augment. If another war was to begin, we would be at a severe disadvantage," Khan concluded gravely.

The silence after his words stretched, and was only interrupted when there came a knock on the door to Khan's study. Kabir went to the door and opened it for the messenger who bowed to him.

"My lord, they are waiting for you," the young woman informed him. Khan nodded and dismissed her with a gesture. Once she was gone, he stood.

"If you both will excuse me," Khan said. Kabir nodded and took the dismissal for what it was. Carmilla, of course, was not about to leave without getting in the last word. She caught the emperor's arm as he tried to pass, but her eyes were no longer hard or disapproving. They were concerned.

"Did you fuck him?" she asked bluntly.

He frowned. "Of course not."

"You wanted to."

Khan said nothing.

"Khan, as thrilled as I am to see you finally taking an interest in someone..."

"It meant nothing."

"Who exactly are you trying to fool?"

"I know nothing about him. Why should he interest me?" Khan scoffed.

"How often do you come across someone you cannot explain or control?"

She knew him far too well.

Khan sighed heavily and gave her a stern look, prepared to tell her once again to cease meddling in his affairs. She silenced him by leaning up to press a soft kiss to his cheek.

"Just promise me, you will be careful."

* * *

_His blood felt like it was boiling in his veins. His muscles strained against the restraints holding him immobile, his whole body spasming in pain as though he was in the middle of a seizure. His throat felt raw and bloody from his constant screaming. He'd never felt pain like this in his life. He was sure he would die from it. Or at the very least go insane._

_All the while the man.. the doctor...stood over him. Watching gleefully as Jim writhed in agony. He'd stopped begging for mercy long ago. Only because he knew he'd receive none._

_"You will be better. So many failures, but no more. You will be perfect." The insane man was muttering to himself as he approached Jim again. He had the syringe in his hand again, once more filled with the shimmering silver liquid, the cause of all of Jim's agony._

_"No... Please..." Jim gasped in spite of himself, all pride gone, even though he knew it wouldn't matter. "Please, stop... Please..."_

_And suddenly he was no longer strapped down on the slab in the laboratory. He was back in the cold dark cell, but he wasn't alone. Jacob was looming over him, his rank breath making Jim want to vomit. One of the man's large hands was around Jim's throat, choking him, making it impossible to breathe. The other was moving down his body...between his legs... Jim tried to fight, tried to twist away, but he couldn't move. He was completely frozen._

_Jacob laughed in his face._

_"No one is coming for you this time, pretty boy..."_

* * *

Jim awoke with a gasp, nearly falling out of bed as his covers twisted around his legs in his panic. It took him several moments and a lot of cursing to untangle himself, and then sit on the edge of his bed. He breathed in and out deep and slow, trying to calm his racing heart.

He'd been having the dream, or variations of it, for several weeks now. Enough that he'd begun to almost miss the sexy dreams with his faceless lover he'd only learned much later were not dreams at all. Or more accurately, they were not only dreams, and his dream lover was none other than Khan Noonien Singh. His captor. His enemy. His savior...

Jim's hands clutched at the bedding beside him as a frustrated growl left his throat. His feelings regarding Khan were such a damned jumble, he didn't even know where to begin untangling them. He should hate the man, and part of him still did – not only for what Khan had done to Jim in his own time, killing Pike, contributing to the deaths of so many, but also for holding him prisoner, keeping the nature of the dreams, the bond between them, a secret.

It was a violation – practically rape – even though Jim had been a 'willing' participant at the time. If he had known it was Khan... If he had known it was 'real'...

It had been real last night. Far more real than it had ever been before. And Jim certainly hadn't protested... What did that mean? Mixed signals hardly began to cover it.

Jim sighed heavily and tiredly rubbed his face. He didn't know what to think anymore. A part of him still hated Khan, yes, but a part of him didn't... Couldn't. Khan had come for him. Saved him. There was no logical explanation for Khan to have done so, Jim wasn't anyone important. He was Khan's _prisoner_. A rather useless one at that, at least when it came to bargaining or information. He was worthless to everyone in this time, and he didn't know anything about this world. Yet the man had risked his life to save him.

Jim couldn't hate Khan, this Khan at least, because of that.

Sometimes it was hard for Jim to believe that his Khan and the one he'd first met three hundred years from now were the same person. They seemed so different sometimes. Jim sure as hell couldn't imagine the Khan he'd met on Kronos telling stories to orphans in a garden and letting little girls play with his hair. Hell, it was hard to believe _this_ Khan would allow such a thing, and Jim wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes.

 _"How does it feel to have the most powerful man in the world on his knees before you?"_ Jim felt himself flush at the memory. He never would have imagined Khan like that either. On his knees. His lips around his cock.

Thrilling. That was how it had felt. Thrilling, dangerous... Terrifying. Because he wanted it again. Wanted more... With a frustrated sound, Jim pushed to his feet and made his way into the bathroom. He twisted the knobs on the sink forcefully and splashed his face with cold water.

He was being ridiculous. He needed to get out of here and back to his own time. He still had no idea how to accomplish this, but he sure as hell wasn't making any progress this way. Khan was still alive, that meant there was a chance the timeline hadn't been disrupted yet. Jim needed to find a way back quickly, while he still had a chance. Once he was home, Bones would have a far better chance of finding out what had been done to him. Maybe even fix him.

Jim looked up at himself in the mirror, his determined expression faltering as he looked at his reflection. He ran his wet fingers through his hair and paled realizing he wasn't imagining it. There were fine silver strands now mingled sporadically with the normal gold.


	3. Chapter 3

Khan could hear the shouting from down the hall.

Much of it was not polite.

The emperor couldn't help but chuckle to himself, imagining the ruffled feathers of the men and women in that room. Augments all. His lieutenants, and his allies. Many of whom tried even Khan's patience. Superior abilities bred superior arrogance, apparently. It was tedious at best when dealing with so many 'colorful' and overblown egos at once.

Sometimes Khan disliked the need for such alliances; one world government under one ruler would be far more efficient and prosperous, but for now they were necessary. The entire world was still scarred from the recent wars waged by humans, and it would not do any good for the augments to fight amongst themselves over the scraps like rabid dogs. Peace was what the world needed right now in order to heal. Not more bloodshed.

Sometimes it seemed as though he was the only one who felt thus.

"This is pointless! What are we waiting for? Khan is dead!" Khan heard one voice rise clearly over the others. "We should be deciding who will take control of his lands, not wasting time like this!"

"And I suppose you think you are the one to do it?" Khan said calmly as he threw open the doors to the room and strode in as though it were nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone in the room turned to look at him, wearing mixed expressions of shock, disbelief, and awe. Some were obviously more pleased with his resurrection than others.

He always did enjoy making an entrance.

"You're alive…"

"Sorry to disappoint you, Alexander," Khan replied, giving the blond augment who'd just been loudly calling for war over his lands, a pointed look. The man immediately cowered and returned to his seat, his dark green eyes looking angry but he said nothing more.

"God damn it, Khan! You should have told us!" shouted Joaquin from further down the table, his brown eyes filled with fury. There were murmurs of agreement from everyone, but unlike some of the others, Khan knew that the dark-haired man was angry at his secrecy because he'd truly mourned his apparent passing.

"Forgive me, old friend, but I felt it was necessary. I will explain everything now," Khan stated, motioning for Joaquin to return to his seat while Khan took his own. Joaquin did so, out of respect, but Khan knew he would have some harsh words for him once they were alone.

"I am sure you are all surprised, perhaps even angry, by my absence for these last several weeks. These are the facts. Yes, there was an attempt made on my life. Obviously, it was unsuccessful, but only in the fact that I did not actually die. I was wounded, severely, in the attempt." Not surprisingly, Khan's words invoked several murmurs of unease, disbelief, and outrage.

"How the hell did this happen, Khan? Why didn't you tell anyone? There were rumors, so many saw what happened, but no one knew what had become of you. Do you have any idea of the chaos the rumors of your death have caused?" a dark-skinned woman interrupted him hostilely, her icy blue eyes just as cold as her words.

"I admit, Isabel, it was a gamble, but a tactical one I thought worth the risk. There was a traitor, buried deep within my own ranks that made the assassination attempt possible. The betrayer has been dealt with. But I had to be certain of certain other loyalties before I could return," Khan explained, casting a pointed look around the table. While many of his allies had come to this meeting at the request of his advisors, they all knew that there were many who had not. They believed him dead and used that opportunity to move against his interests. They too would be dealt with. In time.

Khan didn't add that there were other reasons he'd remained 'dead' for so long. He needed that time to heal from his injuries, as it would do no good for morale for any to see him so weak. Mortal. It was only that faith in his strength that had held things together.

"I also suspected that the assassination attempt was tied to recent terrorist activities in the area," Khan went on.

"Attacks that have increased in frequency and intensity during your absence," Alexander muttered a little sourly, running a weary hand through his long hair. "It has been difficult to keep this news secret, but the last thing we need is a public panic."

"They've definitely become emboldened. There have been three attacks this week alone along our borders," Katerina spoke up for the first time, her soft voice causing him to smile warmly despite her grave words. She was as beautiful as ever, her long, nearly silver-white hair intricately styled, her honey-gold eyes filled with worry. Carmilla stood at her shoulder silent and watchful as always.

"You suspect further treachery, you would not have kept us out of the loop otherwise, Khan," Hector's soft-spoken words caused everyone to grow silent. Khan turned to the dark-skinned man and looked directly into his nearly black eyes as he answered.

"Not in the way you think, my friend," Khan answered honestly. "I do not doubt the loyalty of anyone sitting at this table."

"But you do doubt our ability to control those under our command," Alexander growled, clearly offended.

"One of my closest advisors hid his treachery under my own roof and I did not see it; it is not out of the realm of possibility," Khan snapped, "These attacks are far too organized. They know our tactics far too well to continuously avoid our counter-measures to be random. There has been growing dissention among the humans, you all have seen it. Despite our attempts to media blackout these incidents, rumors persist. Then, this very afternoon, this occurred…"

Khan gestured to Kabir and the man immediately stepped forward to turn on an already prepared projector. What appeared on the white screen made even some of the hardened warriors at the table gasp in surprise and outrage. The slaughter was nothing short of brutal. Men, women, and children. The burned skeletal remains of homes. The last image showed a bloody message painted on a blackened wall.

' _Inferior'_

The projector was turned off, and all turned their attention back to Khan.

"This is not random violence. This is systematic. This is deliberately inciting. If we do not find a way to deal with these terrorists, we may soon be facing an uprising."

* * *

 

"That went well," Kabir muttered softly from where he stood next to Khan's shoulder, earning a soft snort from the augment. If by 'well' the human meant they had all managed not to kill each other, then he supposed he was correct.

"Make sure they leave quickly," Khan replied with barely restrained hostility. Kabir bowed slightly and followed his 'guests' from the room. At least they had managed to come to some agreement. Security measures would be enhanced, and the terrorist attacks would be investigated with far more urgency. It was obvious now they were not dealing with merely a small number of disgruntled humans, but a growing conspiracy. He'd also, barely, managed to convince the other augment leaders that further restrictions on freedoms of their human populations would do no good in preventing a possible uprising. In fact, it might only exacerbate matters rather than quell rising tensions between humans and augments. If matters became much worse, however, there may not be much choice…

"You look like you could use a drink, or ten," Joaquin joked from behind him, and Khan turned to face the three augments who'd lingered behind when the others had left.

"I think we all can, brother," Khan agreed, smiling at Katerina who stepped close to him and leaning down to allow his sister to kiss him on the cheek. "You look well."

"As do you, all things considered. You had us all very worried, Khan," she chided him gently.

"That was never my intention," Khan replied honestly.

"There's something more though, isn't there. Something you didn't want to tell the others," Joaquin pointed out, and Khan resisted the urge to sigh.

"You know me too well," Khan admitted with a nod.

"Why don't we discuss it over that drink then?" Carmilla suggested, casually looping her arm around her lover's back, now that they were alone.

"Yes, Carmilla has been telling me some fascinating stories, Khan. Something about a pretty young human you've been keeping tucked away all to yourself for this last month? The poor thing must be exhausted by now." Katerina teased him and Khan resisted the urge to roll his eyes, though he did give Carmilla a harsh look that the insufferable female merely laughed at.

"It isn't like that. The matter is vastly more complicated," Khan scolded his mischievous 'sister'.

"You have plenty of time to explain it, over that drink," Joaquin chimed in, clapping him on the back good naturedly, but perhaps with a bit more force then necessary and nearly making Khan stumble. Proving that the other augment was still upset with him.

Khan gave a resigned sigh and nodded.

* * *

 

Jim Kirk sat on the edge of his bed in his lavish prison and tried to stop his hands from shaking. It was only a few gray hairs, after all. He was nearly twenty-eight. Not too young to see a few here and there, though the vain part of him argued against this. Bones would probably say otherwise and tease him for overreacting. Would probably complain that Jim gave the doctor new gray hairs every other week, so Jim had no right to complain.

But it wasn't an overreaction. This was different, Jim just knew it. Sure, he'd been through some seriously stressful situations over the last month. Somehow ending up three hundred years in the past, being tortured not once but twice, being held prisoner, nearly being killed three times, and to top it all off, meeting Khan again (even if it was a different Khan than the one Jim remembered), and being experimented on. A few extra gray hairs after all that wasn't unexpected. And, if that was all to it, Jim wouldn't be so terrified.

But there was one other piece to the puzzle.

Myrian. The way she had looked the first time Jim had met her when held by the rebels. A beautiful young woman with glossy black hair who appeared no older than her mid twenties. Just like Jim. Then…later. After he'd been captured again. Her gray, nearly white, hair. The same frightened eyes in a heavily wrinkled face. She had appeared to have aged at least sixty years in only weeks. Even having seen her with his own eyes, he could barely believe it. How was it possible?

Now Jim had an idea, and it was horrifying.

What if that 'doctor' had experimented on her the way he had on Jim? Jim remembered how Myrian had healed after being shot. It was exactly how Jim had healed after being impaled. He had assumed it was because she was an augment. But when Khan had been shot, he had still been injured when he'd come to rescue Jim. He'd been far more recovered than the average human after such a wound, of course, but not like Myrian had healed. Not like Jim had.

If Myrian had healed the way she had because of the doctor's experiments, the way Jim was experimented on, could her rapid aging be a side effect? What if the same thing that had happened to Myrian happened to him? What could he possibly do about it if that was the case? The doctors here couldn't even tell him what had been done to him in the first place!

He had to get home. That was all there was too it. He'd delayed too long as it was. He needed to find a way to escape and return to his own time where Bones might be able to fix him before it was too late.

* * *

 

They all sat in Khan's study, matching crystal glasses filled with expensive liquor, and matching grim expressions on each augment's face.

"That's impossible, Khan," Joaquin finally spoke up, breaking the tense silence that had filled the room after Khan's explanation.

"I know what I saw, Joaquin . It was Doctor Noonien Singh. There was no mistake," Khan replied firmly, almost daring the other augment to argue with him.

Joaquin sighed and drained most of his glass of whiskey before replying.

"You said yourself the boy was being tortured at the time. It could have been a corrupted memory, and you are not very skilled at reading…"

"Don't you think I've considered that?!" Khan snapped, his fingers tightening dangerously around his own glass.

"And I'm telling you that it's impossible that sadistic fuck is still alive! We all _saw_ you kill him with our own eyes!" Joaquin nearly shouted back. Katerina's soft voice interrupted the two men before the volume could rise any further, always the voice of reason.

"Khan, I know better than anyone what that monster was capable of. We endured his torments together. But Joaquin may be right. You cannot let anger cloud your judgement. You said yourself there was no physical evidence found that the doctor was there. You only saw him in Kirk's memories," she reasoned softly, sitting close to Carmilla, who was running her fingers through Katerina's pale hair in a soothing motion.

Khan sighed heavily and nodded grudgingly. Katerina was right and she did know better than any other what Khan was feeling right now. They had been 'born' in the same lab together. The sadistic doctor's experiments had nearly killed her, and almost driven them both mad. Many of their fellow 'siblings' had not been so lucky. Many Khan had been forced to 'put down' himself, out of mercy, because they'd been too far gone to save.

"It is still troubling," she went on, glancing briefly at Carmilla, and the other woman squeezed her shoulder. "If someone has picked up the doctor's experiments where he left off…"

"I have already seen the results of some of those experiments. It is more than merely troubling," Khan replied, thinking of the abomination known as Jacob. "And it is too dangerous to dismiss the possibility he may still be alive. As unlikely as it may be."

Joaquin sighed and nodded.

"I'll make some inquiries. Discretely. We'll find out the truth," Joaquin agreed, and Khan gave his closest friend a grateful look. It faded however when Joaquin continued, "I'll never understand why you kept the name that sadist gave you."

In truth, Khan had never really understood why the doctor had named his 'greatest creation' after himself either. It seemed more than mere vanity… Khan drained his glass of whiskey before answering.

"It is dangerous to forget the past."


	4. Chapter 4

The scientists had come to see him again for more tests. Always more tests. Jim knew it was probably too much to hope that they wouldn't notice that he looked like he'd aged ten years overnight. In fact, they seemed quite intrigued by this new 'symptom', and he was immediately rushed to the labs, where he was poked and prodded with far too much enthusiasm, in Jim's opinion. They took skin, hair, and samples of just about every fluid in Jim's body. They took x-rays, and performed MRI's and ultrasounds; primitive instruments compared to what Jim was used to, and which would undoubtedly prove useless in the end. Explain nothing. All they could tell him was that something had caused major damage to just about every cell in his body, causing them to deteriorate rapidly. Much like the natural aging process, but far faster than normal. But of course they couldn't tell him exactly what had caused it, why, or how to stop it. Frustrating didn't even begin to cover how Jim felt.

Eventually Jim was allowed to return to his rooms. He'd missed lunch, and even when dinner was finally brought for him, he felt no desire to eat. He was still too nauseous from all the tests earlier, and worried about what might happen to him if his body continued to deteriorate like this. He could die from 'old age' in a matter of months, weeks, maybe even less. If he couldn't find a way to stop it…

How was he supposed to stop it? He didn't even know where to begin. He was not a doctor like Bones. As much as Jim hated to admit it, these primitive doctors of this time probably knew a lot more than he did, even though they couldn't give him very many answers. Genetics had never been even close to his area of expertise. And Jim couldn't think of a possible way to get home. He was not a scientist like Spock, he had never studied temporal anomalies, and had no idea how he'd even gotten here, much less how to get back home. Despite all his determination on the surface, deep down he was well aware of how hopeless his situation truly was. A small part of him still hoped that this was all some long, horrifying, nightmare that he would soon wake up from. He didn't even want to consider, even though he knew it was a real possibility, that he would be stuck here for the rest of his life. However short that might be.

As many times as Jim had faced death, one would think he'd be used to it by now. He never thought anything would terrify him more than when he'd decided to enter the room housing the _Enterprise_ 's warp core, knowing without a doubt he wouldn't make it out. Feeling his body dying from radiation poisoning. Painful. Slow. But at the same time too damned fast. As much as he'd wanted the pain to end, he hadn't wanted to die. Even after he'd gotten the warp core realigned, done all he could to save his crew, he'd held on. Crawled back to the door that he knew couldn't be opened, even if he managed to reach it. Simply lying down and closing his eyes, letting death come would have been easier. Instead, he'd crawled every excruciating inch. Struggled for each breath. Too afraid to die alone, to just let go. But despite all his struggles, life had still been ripped from his grasping fingers no matter how he clung to it.

Would it be the same this time? Only drawn out longer? The pain, the fear, drawn out over weeks or months instead of minutes? Jim wasn't sure he could bear it. At least last time Spock had been there. He hadn't been alone in the end after all. Now there was no one…

A sharp knock on his door startled Jim, and his head snapped up in surprise as he watched Khan stride into his bedroom. Once again, without permission. With an assessing look, those piercing blue eyes took in Jim's posture, sitting with his back against the pillows, his arms wrapped around his knees. He must look quite pathetic. The augment did not say a word, however, and Jim chuckled mirthlessly.

"I guess you heard," Jim muttered. Of course he had. He was the fucking emperor and Jim was his pet. Jim probably couldn't even take a piss without the augment knowing about it. Jim ran a hand through his hair, so far the only visual signs of his condition, but how long would that last? He sighed heavily. "Go away. I don't want to do this now."

Khan frowned at him but he didn't move. Jim's anger sparked.

"Get the fuck out! What the hell! Can't you just let me-"

"Wallow in self pity?" Khan finished his sentence for him and something inside Jim snapped.

With a yell, he launched himself off of the bed at the augment. His fist connected with Khan's jaw before he realized it. It was something he'd wanted to do since the first time he'd laid eyes on Khan, but something had always held him back. Not this time. His fear of repercussions was gone, because really, what did he have to be afraid of anymore? He was dead either way.

Jim saw a flash of blood, but he was too enraged at the moment to feel any kind of surprise at actually wounding Khan. The last time he had repeatedly punched the augment, all he'd gotten for his efforts was bruised knuckles. But now his world turned upside down. Literally. Khan struck as fast as a cobra, using Jim's momentum to his advantage, and Jim crashed to the floor on his back, the wind knocked out of him.

He watched as Khan wiped away a smear of blood from his lip, eyes so bright they almost seemed to burn, alight with an inner fire. His long, unbound, hair only slightly mussed by the violence. The expression on Khan's face reminded Jim of the first time he had met Khan face to face on Kronos, after he'd watched the augment completely destroy an entire squad of Klingon soldiers. Something wild, deadly, lurking right beneath the surface. At the same time, so cold. Indifferent. The carnage. The battle. The death. It had meant nothing to him. He'd seen the same look in Khan's eyes after brutally killing Admiral Pike and so many others. It had tipped Jim over the edge. Made him see red. The moment he no longer had a rifle pointed at Jim holding him at bay, he'd started beating the smug bastard and didn't stop until he'd exhausted himself physically and emotionally.

It had the same effect now.

In a heartbeat Jim was back on his feet and he threw another punch at Khan, but expecting it this time, the augment easily sidestepped it. Jim liked to consider himself a pretty good fighter. He'd been in plenty of brawls in his youth, and of course he'd taken the required hand-to-hand fighting classes at Starfleet Academy. He'd lost his share of fights, but he won more than he lost. He quickly realized that Khan was on another level entirely. The augment moved with a fluid grace that was as beautiful as it was deadly. It reminded Jim of a few eastern fighting styles he'd seen, but he couldn't place it exactly; all he knew was it made him feel slow and clumsy by comparison.

Khan completely avoided most of his punches, dancing out of reach and dodging, sometimes by no more than a hair's breath, then counter-attacking so fast that Jim barely saw him move before he was staggering in pain from the force of the blow. Once Jim found his rhythm, he did manage to land a few more punches and kicks to the augment, the look of surprise on Khan's face every time a blow connected was more than satisfying. But the look of smug amusement that flashed in Khan's eyes only fueled Jim's anger. Khan wasn't afraid. Not of dying. Certainly not of Jim. Like it was inconceivable that he could possibly lose.

Then it struck Jim like a bolt of lightning out of the blue. This Khan reminded Jim of himself. How Jim had been before. So arrogant and sure of himself. Pike had been right: Jim never questioned that he would come out on top, even though his successes – despite the risks he took – were as much about luck as skill. He believed he couldn't make mistakes, or if he did, he could always correct them. He ignored all the rules because he thought he was better, smarter than everyone else. Even those who had far more experience than he did. It had taken Jim nearly losing everything he cared for to realize he was wrong. To understand the full weight of the responsibility placed on him. To understand the consequences of his mistakes. His responsibility to his crew. His family.

_Is there anything you would not do for your family?_

In that moment in the brig he had seen the grief in Khan's eyes. He'd seen a man who knew what it was like to lose everything, and was willing to sacrifice anything for those he cared for. How ironic that it was partially due to Khan and his actions that Jim finally learned what it meant to be captain. As harsh a lesson as it had been, it had made Jim a better man. At least, he liked to believe that. Maybe that was still his arrogance talking. This Khan had not learned that lesson yet. But he would…

It had taken Jim nearly dying to understand. What was going to happen to Khan? Would it make him a better man? Or would it destroy him?

All of this flashed through Jim's mind in an instant. He froze. Not sure what exactly he was feeling. Pity? Understanding? Only for a moment but it was long enough, and Khan took advantage of his distraction. The augment knocked Jim's legs out from under him, sending Jim once more onto his back with a grunt of pain. Before he could recover, Khan was on him, pinning him down with his wrists above his head, and in this position Jim couldn't find the leverage to throw the augment off no matter how he struggled.

Jim bared his teeth with a growl, fury warring with far more confusing emotions swirling within him. It was easier to fight. Letting anger take over. To forget his insights into a man he'd never wanted to understand. To forget for a few moments about his looming death, and the fear that came with it. He glared up at the augment hatefully and the bastard had the nerve to smirk down at him. Then to Jim's surprise, though maybe it shouldn't have been, Khan leaned in to kiss him.

He froze the instant the augment's lips touched his own and his eyes went wide with shock. Khan shifted above him and Jim couldn't help but gasp when the augment aligned and rolled his hips against him. Khan's tongue slipped inside his mouth, taking advantage of his parted lips, and Jim whimpered softly as his teeth and palate were explored. His cock was almost unbearably hard, and by the feel of it, so was Khan.

Jim wasn't sure why he kissed Khan back. He didn't want this. Not really. He didn't want to feel his tongue sliding against Khan's. He didn't want to follow the augment's tongue back into his mouth and explore Khan's every bit as thoroughly as Khan had explored him. He shouldn't slide his legs apart to give the other man a more comfortable position between them. He definitely shouldn't arch beneath Khan, rubbing his erection against the other man, and savor the low rumbling moan it pulled from the emperor.

Khan broke their lips apart, his hot breath panting across the younger man's skin as he nipped along Jim's jaw line down to his throat. Jim pulled at his wrists, but they remained trapped inside Khan's unmovable grip. But instead of protesting, Jim arched again, tilting his head back with a shuddering sigh as those talented lips began to kiss and suck at his neck.

"What are you doing?" Jim finally managed to gasp, his whole body trembling when Khan's teeth bit down, skirting the edge between pleasure and pain as the augment's tongue traced the indentations his teeth had left on Jim's throat.

"Reminding you-" Khan kissed back up his neck, sucking and nipping at his earlobe before whispering into it, "-that you are still alive."

All the air seemed to leave Jim's lungs in a rush with those few words, leaving him feeling light-headed and dizzy. The feeling only compounded when Khan rocked against him again, sending a delicious wave of pleasure rushing through his whole body. Jim whimpered in need.

As much as he might dislike the augment, he couldn't deny that Khan was a gorgeous man and the offer was too tempting for Jim to refuse. Jim wanted, no _needed_ , the distraction. Badly. So when Khan moved against him again, he allowed a wanton moan to spill past his lips without restraint and whispered, "Yes..."

Khan froze, hovering above him barely an inch apart, so close Jim could feel the augment's every breath against his sensitive lips. Khan's long dark hair brushed against his cheek, soft and cool, where it spilled over the augment's shoulder. Jim opened his eyes, staring into those incredible blue green eyes, noting the silent question within them.

"Yes," Jim repeated more firmly, and when Khan crushed his lips crushed his own, Jim returned the kiss with just as much intensity. He didn't want to think about the past, or the future. For the moment all Jim wanted was what was right in front of him now. He didn't want to think. He just wanted to feel alive.


	5. Chapter 5

"What the hell do you mean, we continue as planned! Khan is alive! This changes everything! There is no way the others will agree to war now! Already the cowards are practically groveling at his feet to make amends! If he finds out I was the one who orchestrated the assassination attempt-"

A man's deep voice on the other end of the phone line interrupted his tirade calmly. _"Becoming hysterical will change nothing. Khan is only one man. He is not a god, whatever he might like to believe. It doesn't matter now. The plan has already been set into motion; it is too late to stop it now. This development may make things more difficult, but the end result will be the same."_

 _"If you had done your job correctly, it would not be an issue in the first place,"_ a woman's voice added, as coldly and emotionless as her counterpart.

"He had a hole in his chest the size of my fist! Any other man-"

 _"I believe we've already established that Khan is hardly any other man. You were sloppy. You should have made certain,"_ the woman interrupted again with contempt. He grit his teeth to bite back an angry retort.

 _"Continue with the plan. We will contact you if there are any changes,"_ the deep-voiced man said, and then the line went dead. The fragile casing of the receiver cracked under the pressure when he slammed it back onto the cradle. An amused chuckle behind him made him turn and glare daggers at the human standing in the doorway.

"It seems my child is a little more resourceful than you planned." The doctor's voice sounded far too amused, and it was all he could do not to strangle the man where he stood.

"You don't sound surprised," he replied, accusingly.

"Of course I am not surprised. I learned long ago never to underestimate my greatest creation," the old scientist replied, sounding proud and almost wistful at the same time.

"What do you suggest then?" he forced himself to ask, hating that he had to ask for anything, especially advice, from the twisted man.

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again."

* * *

 

Thin white trails of smoke floated lazily in the air, stirred only by Khan's soft exhale and the breeze from the open window. Moonlight spilled into the room, giving everything it touched a near-ethereal glow. He flicked the ash from the end of the kretek out the window with a relaxed motion. The night breeze was cool and refreshing against his bare flesh, still a little flushed and damp with sweat.

Behind him there was a soft sound, the smooth slide of skin against satin, and a faint snore. Khan smiled to himself as he gazed out into the dark night. He brought the kretek back to his lips and inhaled deeply, savoring the scent of cloves and the slight burn of smoke in his throat as he did so.

This was not what Khan had intended when he'd decided to come to Kirk's rooms. Kabir had, of course, advised against it. His chief of security was the one who'd informed Khan of the new development in Kirk's condition, and reiterated his belief that until they knew more, it was best that Kirk remained in quarantine. Who knew if Kirk's symptoms could prove dangerous to others, humans and augments alike? What if they were even contagious?

Once again, Khan found himself ignoring Kabir's concerns. He'd waited until his chief of security was busy with other matters before he'd gone to see the young human. He'd only intended to speak with Kirk. But then he had seen him. The air of utter defeat that surrounded Kirk, and the absolute _wrongness_ of it had struck Khan, almost like a physical blow.

This wasn't anything like the brilliant and near-suicidal man who had escaped from horrific torture at the hands of human terrorists, then nearly escaped again from some of Khan's best people. It had nearly costed Kirk his life in the process, but had also earned Khan's respect. This wasn't the man who'd stood so proud and defiant, afraid yes, but brave all the same, even though Kirk was practically helpless, his fate was literally in Khan's hands. This wasn't the man who was fool enough to almost put himself in the path of a bullet attempting to save a man he claimed to hate. Then, even after enduring horrors no man should have to experience, had come out of it, not only with his sanity intact, but had saved Khan again, even when Kirk himself had been horrifically injured.

Every man had his breaking point. Khan knew this all too well. But he refused to let this be Kirk's.

His taunt had been calculated. Kirk's violent response was not wholly unexpected, considering Khan knew it was something he'd wanted to do since the first time they'd met. What did surprise Khan was the speed at which Kirk moved and the power behind the blows he delivered. Too strong, too fast, for a normal human being. In one way, it was gratifying to realize he was correct about the potential of Kirk's new abilities. Even more gratifying was to see the fight return to those eyes, even if it was directed at him. It was exhilarating in a way Khan had not expected. That Kirk might just be a match for him as he was now. Perhaps even more than a match?

But at what cost?

The fight had not lasted for very long, and they were both bruised and a little bloody by the time Khan took advantage of Kirk's momentary distraction to bring the younger man down. He'd had to use all of his strength to keep the struggling human pinned. Still Kirk fought, growling and baring his teeth at Khan like a wild animal, and it had ignited something far more primal in him.

He wasn't thinking when he kissed Kirk. All he could feel was the _desire_ he'd been trying to repress. Unsuccessfully maybe, because deep down he had not wanted to. He wanted Kirk. The bond between them, he'd never asked for it. Kirk certainly didn't want it, but it was still impossible to ignore. His mind and body were telling him that Kirk was already his, and Khan was not a man in the habit of denying himself.

Apparently he was not the only one.

If Kirk had wanted to stop him, he probably could have. Biting him at the very least, rather than allowing Khan to kiss him. If Kirk had continued to fight him, Khan would not have forced himself on the younger man. Khan might be a monster, but he was not a rapist. Instead, Kirk had returned his passion just as fiercely. Meeting and exceeding it with one word. It was all Khan had needed to hear.

 _Yes_.

Now, as he heard Kirk shift again in his sleep, Khan allowed himself to turn away from the window, to take in the tempting sight the younger man made. Kirk was sprawled on his front, clutching one of the pillows to his chest like a child might. The moonlight made his skin seem paler than normal, the well-defined muscles of his back appearing as though carved from the smoothest marble. His normally golden hair appeared to be dipped in silver. The sheet had shifted with Kirk's restless movements, now barely covering the younger man's hips, and drawing Khan's eyes temptingly to the swell of Kirk's ass.

Khan took another lazy drag from the kretek as he recalled the pleasure of stripping Kirk naked. Not giving a care for gentleness or propriety as he literally tore open the younger man's shirt, rending the material beyond repair. Of exploring every inch of that perfect chest with his mouth, beginning from Kirk's throat and working down to the younger man's navel. Kirk's hands, no longer confined, tangled in his hair and he led Khan's mouth to where he wanted it the most. Whispering that one sweet word like a mantra, urging him on.

_Yes, yes, yes._

Khan licked his lips as he remembered the taste of Kirk in his mouth. Hot and heavy on his tongue as he swallowed the younger man's cock to the root. How Kirk's hands clenched in his hair, holding him in place as he thrust into Khan's mouth, using him, the emperor, like a cheap whore. Taking his pleasure greedily and caring little about any discomfort he might be causing. Khan chuckled softly, his throat still a little sore from the abuse it had taken. Had anyone ever dared such a thing before? Would any other ever dare? Kirk had watched him the entire time, his blue eyes burning almost fever-bright as Khan sucked him off. Khan's cock had grown harder with every rough thrust between his lips until Kirk shouted his name as he came down his throat. Still Kirk had not looked away.

Now he rolled onto his back with a sleepy groan, giving Khan a splendid view of his smooth chest and dusky pink nipples. His arm and pectoral muscles flexed as Kirk stretched languidly, the sheet, already precariously positioned at best, slid even lower. Pulled down the firm stomach, exposing the sharp jut of hipbones and a dark golden trail of hair that led to Kirk's cock, flaccid now, but clearly outlined underneath.

Blue eyes blinked open slowly, confusion flickering in those ocean-like depths before they found Khan in the darkness. Khan could feel the weight of that stare like a caress moving slowly down the length of his nude body. Kirk had seen it all before of course. Had explored him eagerly with hands and mouth. His cock began to harden simply remembering how the young human had shoved Khan roughly onto his back, made quick work stripping the emperor, before eagerly taking his cock into his mouth. No hesitation. No uncertainty. Fingers dug bruises into Khan's hips as Kirk sucked him off, like he had something to prove.

Khan watched as a familiar hunger began to replace the drowsy sleepiness in those stunningly bright blue eyes. A soft pink tongue darted out to swipe over still-swollen lips. No words passed between them as Khan extinguished the remains of the kretek with his fingers and slowly approached the bed where Kirk lay. Where Khan had placed him after exhaustion began to overtake Kirk so quickly the proud young man had not even muttered a token protest at the augment carrying him, and fell asleep almost as soon as Khan had pulled the sheet over the supine young man. Nor did Kirk protest now, his eyes never looking away from Khan's, though Kirk's breathing hitched a little as Khan reached down to grasp an edge of the satin sheet and slowly draw it down, exposing more of the beautiful body hidden beneath.

He saw Kirk shiver slightly as the soft material caressed his skin, but the young man made no effort to conceal himself from Khan's gaze. Khan's fingers trailed over the prominent bone of one ankle, moving slowly up the length of the man's leg, skimmed under the sensitive knee, and along Kirk's inner thigh. Kirk's legs parted without resistance at the silent command, and Khan knelt on the bed between them. His hand continued its slow path upwards, over Kirk's thigh, his thumb ghosting over the prominent hip bone as he positioned himself on his knees over the young man, his other hand braced beside Kirk's head near the pillow.

Khan felt Kirk's hands mirroring the caress, curling around his hips to squeeze his ass boldly, pulling him closer. He allowed himself to be drawn in, a soft pleased sound escaping his throat at the feel of warm skin against his own from chest to groin. Kirk's thighs tightened around his hips while the younger man's hands trailed up Khan's back and curled around his shoulders.

Kirk's lips welcomed his kiss, parting with a sigh of pleasure as he tasted him deeply. Their tongues twined slowly and easily, tasting each other without hurry. Khan moaned as Kirk's teeth caught at his lower lip and sucked gently, a deep satisfied sound. He pressed his erection alongside the younger man's, allowing their cocks to slide together, the pleasant friction causing Kirk to groan softly in return. Kirk's hands captured the back of his neck and brought their mouths together more firmly. Khan slid his hand up the outside of Kirk's thigh to grasp the firm buttocks, enjoying the feel of the muscles flexing as the younger man moved against him.

Reluctantly, Khan pulled back, but only enough so he could see Kirk's eyes once more. For a moment he became mesmerized by the fierce desire reflected in them, Kirk's lips slightly parted and swollen from his kisses. Khan licked his own lips, savoring the taste that lingered on them, and slid his fingers boldly between the cheeks of Kirk's ass, brushing teasingly over the tight opening there in a silent question.

Kirk's breath caught in his throat, and the young man froze for several heartbeats. He swallowed visibly and the first real trace of nervousness crept into Kirk's lovely blue gaze. Abruptly Khan remembered when Kirk had been imprisoned. The sexual assault that he had barely prevented. Khan began to pull away, an apology on his lips that he never had the chance to voice, because Kirk stopped him with a jerky nod. The younger man's fingers were digging bruises into his arm, he held him so tightly, but determination suddenly replaced any trace of nervousness in those eyes.

Unwilling to risk ruining the moment with speech, Khan returned the nod. Trusting that Kirk would stop him if it was too much. He reached over to the bedside table for the vial of oil he'd left there earlier in anticipation. Kirk gave him a look he couldn't tell whether was amused or not, but his expression quickly shifted to pleasure once more when Khan drizzled some of the oil along Kirk's cock and began to stroke him slowly to hardness.

Kirk moaned, a beautiful sound, as he began to thrust into his hand. Then Kirk surprised him by reaching between them to grasp Khan's cock in return. Kirk spread his legs wider to bring their cocks together, and wrapped his hand around both of them. The warm oil, coating both of them now as Kirk began to move his hand, created a delicious friction and Khan groaned softly in approval. Kirk smirked up at him, far too pleased with himself, and lifted his hips in a blatant invitation. One Khan was not about to refuse.

Khan reached underneath Kirk once more, his fingers still slick with oil, and began to teasingly circle the tight clenching muscles, encouraging them to relax. All too soon, Kirk began to push down on those fingers, seeking a firmer, deeper, touch. Khan allowed one to penetrate the young man slowly, unable to contain a groan at feeling how tight and hot Kirk was inside. Just imagining the sensation around his cock…

Khan thrust his finger in and out slowly, gradually moving deeper, letting Kirk adjust. He watched the younger man's expression, paying close attention, not wanting Kirk to feel any discomfort. But it was more than just pleasure he noticed on Kirk's face, especially when he curled his finger just right to stroke against the younger man's prostate. It was surprise.

"You've never done this before," Khan breathed in realization before he could stop himself. Apparently he'd made the wrong assumption regarding the reason behind Kirk's nervousness.

Kirk immediately flushed. From pleasure certainly, but perhaps also partly from embarrassment. However, it passed quickly.

"Are you going to fuck me or not?" Kirk practically dared him. Khan blinked in surprise, but replied with an almost wicked smile. He quickly replaced one finger with two and rubbed more firmly against that sensitive bundle of nerves deep inside, causing the younger man to buck and curse involuntarily. Khan swallowed any further sounds of pleasure Kirk made by kissing him harder, practically fucking the younger man's mouth with his tongue while his fingers opened Kirk's body for his cock.

By the time Khan had three fingers deep inside the younger man, Kirk was practically writhing in his arms, moaning, cursing, and begging for more all in a single breath. By then Khan's control had nearly vanished as well, worn away by the near-primal need to claim what was being offered. His possessiveness reared its head, especially knowing that he would be the first to ever have Kirk this way.

If Khan had any say in the matter, he would be the only one to ever have him this way.

He withdrew his fingers from the tight clenching hole, immediately pressing his cock at the entrance to replace them. But he paused for a moment before making the final push.

"Look at me," Khan demanded, and Kirk's eyes immediately locked with his, glazed with lust and almost as feral as his own. There was no more hesitation after that. He filled the younger man with a slow but steady thrust. He did not stop until his cock was completely sheathed in the tight heat. Kirk cried out, pleasure mingling with pain, but he did not tell him to stop. His legs tightened around Khan's hips, holding him in place, while Kirk's fingers wound into his hair.

Khan gave Kirk a moment to adjust before he began to thrust, fucking the younger man slowly but deeply with every movement. Kirk's eyes all but rolled back in his head and his mouth opened in a wordless cry. The younger man's chest heaved as he tried to draw enough air into his lungs. Khan grinned, adjusted his angle, and thrust hard and fast. The sound Kirk made when he hit his prostate directly could have been mistaken for torture in any other situation.

"Khan…" Kirk breathing his name while he clutched desperately at Khan's back was one of the most erotic things the emperor had ever heard in his life. He kissed Kirk again, moaning into the other's mouth when he felt the hard proof of his lover's desire rubbing against his abdomen, leaving trails of precum over both of them.

"Yes… I want to feel you come… Only for me…" Khan growled against kiss-swollen lips, thrusting harder and faster inside the younger man. Kirk cried out wordlessly, raking his blunt nails down Khan's flexing back to clutch at his buttocks.

"You first," Kirk countered in a challenge. Khan was taken aback at first, then grinned. Soon it became a contest of who could outlast the other, and even Khan was not sure who would win. As an augment, he should have had the greater stamina, but Kirk seemed to have the same determination to outlast him as he had in everything else. Which meant they were both sweating profusely, panting, and shaking with pleasure bordering on pain when finally they cried out in almost unison. Khan felt the hot splash of cum against his stomach as he spilled inside Kirk's clenching hole.

Khan collapsed heavily across Kirk's chest, earning a grunt of discomfort from the man beneath him who was breathing just as hard. But Kirk's arms remained wrapped around him until Khan finally found the energy to shift off the younger man and withdraw from him as gently as possible. Though a pained hiss still escaped from the undoubtedly sore human. The augment sprawled on his back beside the equally exhausted man.

"I believe that was a draw," the emperor eventually muttered with a soft chuckle. Kirk snorted softly beside him.

"Next time," Khan thought he heard Kirk mutter, barely above a whisper. He turned his head to give the man a questioning look, but Kirk was already asleep again.

* * *

 

The next time Kirk woke, the sun had risen and he was alone.


	6. Chapter 6

Jim stood with his hands braced against the cool shower wall and his head bent underneath the hot water. His entire body felt sore in one way or another. Some parts more than others. His muscles burned like he'd stretched them all far beyond their limit. His skin felt too sensitive, even raw, in some places. His head pounded like he was suffering from a severe hangover, though thankfully without the accompanying nausea. But it was the uncomfortable ache deep inside him was the worst of his discomforts. Impossible to ignore.

"What the fuck, Jim," he muttered to himself, rubbing his hand tiredly over his damp face.

It was hard to believe what had happened last night, even though every ache in his body was telling him that it had been real. That it had really happened. It still felt almost like a dream. Not so different from the ones he'd had before involving Khan, before he'd realized it had actually been the augment touching him, kissing him, fucking him… Those dreams, visions, whatever, almost felt more real than what had happened last night.

What the hell was wrong with him?

Yes, he'd been exhausted, stressed, and over-emotional. He'd allowed the augment to goad him into a fight. Then he'd allowed Khan to kiss him, to suck him off… All right, he could explain that away by adrenaline and an emotional high, the desperate need for a distraction, not to mention Jim hadn't been getting much sex on a regular basis lately and he wasn't used to such lengthy dry spells.

But that didn't really explain why he'd felt the need to return the favor after Khan had gotten him off. Though maybe that could also be explained away by exhaustion, endorphins, and maybe a little bit of guilt mixed in. After all, the man had given him two incredible blow jobs by that point; it was only fair he'd give back a little in return, right? It wasn't that much of a hardship. Khan was a gorgeous man, and he had an equally gorgeous cock. Jim might have been a little rusty, but had still remembered a few tricks if Khan's reactions were anything to go by.

That didn't really explain…after.

Jim had felt so wrung out by that point, physically and mentally exhausted, he probably could have passed out right there on the expensive (and surprisingly comfortable) rug he'd been sprawled on, if Khan hadn't put him to bed afterwards. Jim had gone to sleep almost immediately, despite the relatively early hour. He hadn't expected Khan to still be there when he woke.

But he had been there. Smoking. Naked. Absolutely breathtaking. And watching Jim with unmasked hunger. It should have made him uncomfortable at the very least. Instead it was the exact opposite. Jim had wanted what Khan was offering, and he couldn't deny it was incredibly arousing to be wanted by a man like Khan. He'd never been so turned on in his life.

Jim hadn't been thinking. He hadn't _wanted_ to think. He'd wanted to forget. He'd been successful in that regard. He hadn't been thinking about anything except Khan's hands touching him, Khan's lips kissing him, Khan's cock fucking him.

He'd never allowed anyone to do that before. Even the few men he'd slept with during his academy days only amounted to mutual handjobs, a couple of blowjobs, and in one case, it had been Jim who'd done the fucking. Jim wasn't insecure in his masculinity or anything as archaic as that. He just hadn't…trusted anyone enough to give them that. Then when he'd decided he simply enjoyed having sex with women more, there hadn't really been any further opportunity.

Why Khan? Of all people? Who'd wronged Jim in so many ways? Killed Pike. Killed so many of Jim's crew. Betrayed him… Fair enough, technically it had not been _this_ Khan who'd done those things. Could he really blame the Khan of this time for the actions of his future self? And would his future self now do all those future things, based on this experience? It was true this Khan was no saint, but he'd still been…good to Jim. Relatively speaking. He'd been treated well, if a bit coldly at first, but he hadn't been hurt. Except when he'd tried to escape. But even then Khan had offered up his own blood to heal Jim. Then when Jim had been captured by the rebels a second time, Khan himself had come to save him.

Still, how could he ever trust Khan enough for…what had happened between them? It was beyond intimate, it was…

Was it just curiosity? In the dreams they'd already done that and more, and it had been good. Damn good. The real thing proved to be even better. A part of him was still a little pissed off at Khan for not telling him the truth about the dreams, but could Jim really still be angry with him for that when he'd now agreed to it while he was fully awake and aware of who it was fucking him? It felt almost hypocritical.

Jim groaned, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly.

Yes, it had been better than the dreams. Maybe even the best sex Jim had ever had, and that was saying a lot. Khan had been perfect: thoughtful, considerate, passionate. He was an amazing lover. Had Jim really expected anything less? But…now what? Jim got the impression that Khan wouldn't mind fucking him again. Honestly, Jim wouldn't mind either, despite all the…complications involved. But Jim was still technically a prisoner, no matter how well he was treated. Exactly what was he to Khan now? A convenient sex toy? Would Khan still kill him without any thought or remorse if he determined him to be 'dangerous'? Right now the emperor seemed more concerned in finding out what that 'doctor' had done to Jim than who he was and where he'd come from, but how long was that going to last?

Everything was already so…fucked up. This was only going to complicate things further, and Jim _really_ didn't need any more complications in his life right now. Having sex with Khan Noonien Singh might just be at the top of the list of the stupidest things he'd ever done.

* * *

 

Khan relaxed in his favorite chair in his study, a kretek burning lazily in one hand, and a newspaper in the other which he was currently reading. His empty breakfast dishes waited on the table at his elbow for the servant to come and collect. The smell of the strong coffee he had yet to finish mingled pleasantly with the clove-scented smoke drifting aimlessly around him.

He had meetings scheduled all morning. The first was with contractors regarding a new water treatment facility that he wanted to build, which would hopefully ease the heavy burden on current resources. Next he needed to discuss his plans with several environmental scientists to begin to return the nearby wastelands to a habitable state. Despite his optimism, it would probably take years before the damage caused by the recent wars could be undone. Longer if this problem with the rebels continued.

Khan was actually looking forward to his final meeting for the day. The chief engineer in charge of his new space program was bringing him an update on the experimental craft that would hopefully enable humans the ability of true interstellar travel. Last he'd heard, work on the prototype was progressing ahead of schedule, and he was eager to learn more about the progress of the project.

But for now he was determined to enjoy this rare moment of solitude. Which was why he did not even look up when Kabir suddenly strode into his study without even bothering to knock on the door to announce himself. It bordered on disrespectful, but since Khan was in such a good mood, he decided to forgive the blatant rudeness. The young man was visibly perturbed, and Khan could probably guess why. It was almost amusing.

When Kabir had stood in front of Khan's chair for several minutes, and Khan still had not looked up or addressed the human, he eventually cleared his throat to get Khan's attention. As if Khan hadn't known he'd been there. It was another few moments before Khan finally glanced up from his paper to give his Chief Security officer an even look.

"Did you need something?" Khan asked mildly.

"There is several hours of surveillance footage missing from Kirk's rooms last night," Kabir pointed out none-too-subtly. Khan raised an eyebrow. His officer must be more than merely annoyed with him. He was downright angry.

"I am aware," Khan replied smoothly, but gave no further explanation. He saw the human's fists clench at his side.

"Sir –" Kabir began but Khan cut him off.

"Perhaps if you had been half as diligent in your efforts to ensure my safety a month ago, I would not have almost been killed in the middle of my own palace. I suggest you concentrate your efforts elsewhere. I will not warn you again," Khan stated firmly.

"Yes, sir," the young officer responded stiffly before turning on his heel and marching out. He passed Carmilla who stood in the doorway, watching them both with a raised eyebrow. Khan scowled at the meddlesome woman before pointedly turning his attention back to the paper in his hand, fully prepared to ignore her presence. After several moments of feeling her eyes metaphorically burning holes into his skull, he finally sighed and looked up again.

"Do you have a reason for pestering me?" he snapped irritably, his previous good mood almost forgotten.

"Petulance does not become you, Khan. He is only doing his job," the woman scolded him, but before Khan could tell her to mind her own business she added, "Katerina is departing soon. She would like to see you before you go."

With that she turned and left before he could growl out a suitable response. Instead, all he could settle for was snuffing out the half-finished kretek with a little more force than was necessary. She was right, of course; Kabir was only doing his job, and he did it well. Khan was just as much to blame for not seeing the traitor within his own ranks. And it was probably due to that very oversight that Kabir was so obsessed with keeping him away from any potential threats. One of Khan's most trusted officers had recently tried to have him killed. He couldn't exactly blame Kabir for being suspicious of Kirk, about whom they still knew virtually nothing about. But Khan had the matter well in hand, and he did not need a nanny.

Regardless, he would not see his sister off in a foul mood. So he dismissed the matter forcibly from his mind as he rose and made his way to entrance of his palace where a car would be waiting to take Katerina home. She was already there with her entourage, including Carmilla who'd arrived ahead of him. The two women were sharing a lingering embrace, but parted when he approached. Katerina smiled at him and then embraced him as well. He truly was disappointed to see her go so soon. But she had just as many problems to deal with as he did, and could not be away from home for long.

"I've missed you. I hope next time it will not take rumors of my death for you to pay me a visit," Khan joked lightly, which earned him a none-too-gentle punch to his arm.

"Don't even dare such a thing again, or I will kill you myself," Katerina warned him with a serious glare before her expression softened. "I will return as soon as I can. I promise."

Khan nodded and kissed her hand gently. She smiled at him in return.

"You've been smoking," she observed softly so no one but him would hear. He made a noncommittal sound, neither confirming nor denying the observation. Though of course she could smell it on him. Her smile turned almost wicked as she added, "You only smoke after sex."

Again, he did not reply, his expression giving nothing away. She giggled like a school girl.

"Was it good?" she asked him playfully. His smile was the only reply he gave and she laughed again, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek gently. Then she turned back to Carmilla and said, "Keep him safe."

"Of course, my love," the dark-haired woman replied, sharing a final brief kiss with Katerina before her partner got into the car waiting for her. Khan stood back and raised his hand in farewell when the vehicle began to pull away and drive down the path that would take her beyond the gated wall.

He and Carmilla stood together, watching the car disappear. Therefore they were both witness to the vehicle's sudden eruption into flames with a deafening explosion. Khan saw it happen, but he could not seem to make himself believe what his eyes were telling him. It did not seem real. A dream perhaps, or momentary state of madness, even though the force of the blast had nearly knocked him off his feet. Even though he could feel the flames, smell the sickening black smoke, Khan could not believe it…

He was only pulled from his stunned paralysis when Carmilla rushed past him, screaming his sister's name. Then he moved on instinct, catching the woman before she could throw herself at the flaming wreckage in her grief. Holding her despite how she fought and cursed him.

Suddenly it all became very real.


	7. Chapter 7

Khan sat alone in the darkened study, pale moonlight the only illumination coming through the high windows from outside, casting deep shadows throughout the entire room. Photos were scattered haphazardly across the large desk. Khan's eyes moved over the photos without really seeing them. He didn't need to. He'd already seen their subjects for himself and his memories were all too clear. The twisted blackened wreckage of the car. Burned remains, barely recognizable as human. The smell of burning petrol and melting metal still clung to his skin like vile tar.

There was a soft knock on the door but Khan didn't answer. Didn't even look up from the photographs. After a few moments the door opened anyway. He finally raised his eyes to meet the intruder. Any other man would have been dead in a second where they stood.

"Khan." Joaquin's tone and expression were sympathetic and Khan wanted none of it.

"Get out," the older augment snapped, raising the crystal tumbler of whiskey in his hand to his lips. His grip was white-knuckled on the glass, if he'd held it any tighter, it would be in danger of shattering.

Joaquin did not leave. He stood in the doorway, his hands folded behind his back, and waited patiently. Khan knew from experience the man could wait there all night if he needed to. Khan sighed heavily and rubbed tiredly at his eyes. Out of spite he made the other augment wait a full ten minutes before he finally addressed him again.

"What do you want?"

"I thought you might want an update," Joaquin said, not sounding the least bit offended at Khan's attitude. Khan didn't answer. He simply took another drink from his glass and Joaquin apparently took that as permission to continue.

"So far no one has claimed responsibility for the bombing. What we do know is that it was not set on a timer. The detonator used was triggered remotely and whoever it was must have been on the grounds at the time, given its short range." Joaquin's tone was matter-of-fact, betraying no emotion, and Khan's expression gave nothing away either. Yet inside he seethed as his suspicions were confirmed.

He had not been the target. If the bomb had been detonated sooner he probably would have been caught in the blast as well. Injured, if not killed. Instead, they'd wanted him to see. Wanted him to watch her die.

"Tomorrow we will issue the statement you requested. The official story will be that Katerina died in a car accident when her driver lost control of the vehicle on her way home from a diplomatic function. Witnesses to the bombing have been dealt with," Joaquin finished. Khan's nod was barely perceivable.

After a few minutes, when the Emperor didn't speak, Joaquin gave a heavy sigh.

"Khan…"

"Don't," Khan practically growled, but Joaquin continued anyway.

"It wasn't your fault, Khan."

"Wasn't it?" Khan's words dripped with bitterness and the anger lurking in those pale blue eyes was frightening, "Perhaps if I was not so tolerant of incompetence, none of this would have happened."

Joaquin knew better than to argue with Khan when he was in such a mood. His oldest friend might not kill him, but he wasn't above breaking a few bones to make a point.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry. You know where I'll be if you need to talk," Joaquin finally offered, then he turned to leave. Before he made it out of the room completely however, Khan's voice made him pause.

"How is Carmilla?"

Joaquin shook his head.

"She is resting in her quarters now. Heavily sedated," he informed the Khan, who once more barely nodded at the news.

Joaquin left the room and closed the door softly behind him. In the hallway he turned to look at Kabir who'd been waiting outside at Joaquin's insistence. Though he had a feeling Khan had probably known the entire time that the other man was there.

"If you value your life, you'll be out of the country by morning," was all Joaquin said before walking away.

* * *

 

Something was wrong.

It was after midnight as Jim paced back and forth in his room, as he'd been doing for some time now when he could no longer simply sit still.

Something was wrong. He knew it. He could _feel_ it.

He'd heard the explosion earlier that morning, but no one would tell him what it was or what had happened. No one had been to his room since then. They wouldn't even open his door no matter how hard or long he pounded on it. It was only the fear of being shot should he be caught trying to escape that had kept him there. He hadn't heard from Carmilla or Kabir. He had not seen Khan since sometime late last night. Even those damned scientists and doctors who liked to poke and prod him so much hadn't come. No one would tell him anything, and it was driving him insane.

It reminded him far too much of when Khan had been shot. No one would tell him anything then either. Not even if Khan had been alive or not. Jim should probably count himself lucky that he was in his room and not the dungeon this time, at least not yet, but it gave him little comfort.

Had something happened to Khan?

The anxiousness he felt wouldn't leave him no matter what he tried to do to calm down. He couldn't sit still. He couldn't read. He couldn't just empty his mind. Jim's heart pounded in his chest and adrenaline rushed through his veins like fire. Every instinct screamed danger, even though _he_ himself didn't feel threatened. He wanted, _needed_ , to get out of this room. He needed to go…

Jim felt the urge to bang on the door again until someone, anyone, opened it and finally told him what the fuck was going on. It hadn't worked last time, and all he'd received was bruised hands for his effort, but it was better than doing nothing.

Before he could give into the urge, he heard the click of the lock and froze, standing still, braced to fight or flee should he need to. But when the door finally opened and Khan stepped inside, the instinct vanished in a heartbeat. The anxiety Jim had been suffering from all day left him so suddenly he felt almost light headed as relief rushed to take its place, mingled with a healthy dose of confusion.

Khan didn't seem all that surprised to see him standing there, ready to practically beat down the heavy wooden door with his bare hands.

"I apologize for not coming sooner," the emperor said softly, shutting the door behind him. Jim heard it lock, and even though he was still effectively trapped once more, he no longer felt that maddening urge to escape. In fact, he felt like he was now exactly where he needed to be. Jim didn't want to even begin contemplating what that might mean.

Khan moved slowly over to one of the couches and all but fell into it. It was then that Jim noticed the strong smell of alcohol following the other man like a foul cloud. Jim wrinkled his nose in distaste. Was Khan actually drunk? Was that even possible? If he was, then he was the most highly-functioning drunk that Jim had ever met. Despite Khan's slightly slouched posture, he didn't appear the least bit rumpled; not a hair out of place. His gaze was just as sharp and steady as it always was, but there was something else there that Jim couldn't define. Something that reminded Jim far too much of the man that he had met on Kronos.

"What happened?" Jim asked warily. Wary of the man in front of him in a way he suddenly realized he hadn't felt for some time. As he certainly hadn't felt last night when Khan had been fucking him.

Khan didn't answer him, he simply held out a hand, silently beckoning Jim closer. To his surprise Jim felt himself taking a step before he realized what he was doing, and forced himself to stop. Even though everything inside of him was practically screaming to go to Khan, Jim refused to listen to that instinct. He didn't trust it. Didn't trust himself anymore.

The other man made a sound halfway between a laugh and a sigh.

"Jim," The use of his first name made him start a little. Khan had never called him that before, "Please."

He'd never begged Jim for anything before either.

Jim didn't try to stop himself from going to Khan this time. He took the augment's hand without examining the reasons for it. He didn't question the comfort and relief he felt simply touching Khan; how being close to him made him feel. There would be plenty of time for that later. Right now Jim couldn't ignore the pain he could so clearly see barely concealed behind Khan's eyes, or his instinctive need to try to relieve it.

Khan pulled him in close to stand between his legs and Jim went willingly. When Khan wrapped his arms tightly around his waist and buried his face in his stomach he didn't question why as Jim's fingers combed gently through the augment's long hair.

They remained that way for a good while, Jim gently petting the other man and Khan holding onto him as though his life depended on it. Finally the augment's hold on him loosened, and Khan leaned back enough so that Jim could see his face once more. He see Khan had not been crying, there was no evidence of it, but it had probably been a near thing.

"What happened?" Jim asked, softer this time, a question rather than a demand. Khan sighed heavily and leaned back against the couch, allowing Jim to shift and sit beside him.

"I lost someone today," Khan practically whispered, but Jim heard it clearly enough. The meaning of the explosion he'd heard earlier became all too clear.

"Who?" Jim asked after a time when Khan didn't elaborate.

"A sister."

"I didn't know you had a sister," Jim replied, and then wanted to kick himself for his insensitivity. He never was very good at this.

Khan's smile was both bitter and sad.

"We were not related by blood, as you might imagine. But we were still…"

"Family," Jim whispered when Khan's voice trailed off. Khan looked at him and gave a small nod.

"I'm sorry," Jim finally offered. Khan didn't answer, simply leaned his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. They sat like that for a long time, side by side, not speaking. After a while, Jim wasn't sure if Khan had fallen asleep or not. If he had, he could probably use it. In truth, Jim felt he could use it too after the stress of the day.

He had a thought of getting up and getting a blanket to cover the other man, but found he didn't want to move. After a while he made a decision and slipped an arm around the augment's shoulders, pulling him closer. There was no resistance and eventually Khan's head came to rest against his shoulder. The augment's breath was soft and warm against Jim's neck.

In a move that was surprisingly easy, Jim slipped his other arm underneath Khan's knees and lifted him carefully. The emperor didn't stir; definitely asleep, probably due to emotional exhaustion, liquor, or both. He carried Khan into the bedroom and gently deposited him in the bed. He took the time to shut off the lights, and after a moment of hesitation, joined him in the bed. Only then did Khan stir, curling into Jim's warmth before going still again.

Despite his own exhaustion, Jim didn't fall asleep for a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Do not ask me about updates, please. Thank you.


End file.
